Thou greatest enemy is thyself


Flurry of Feeling.
November 13, 2009, 1:33 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Do I really want Lester in my life? On one hand, I see that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore and has given up on me at that point, and that many people out there still see my worth and respond to the love that radiated naturally from me. On the other, I suddenly felt that pang of regret, why wait till now, when I’m so comfortable around with his friends (teasing Victor and Steve) and so unbound by fear of rejection and reaching out to the network of friends, that I can’t be with him? Everything happens for a reason and i’m very thankful that this break-up was the catalyst for taking stock of my life and standing up again. I have more or less accepted the fact that he’s moved on and there are new guys in my life (just FRIENDS ok! I can only give them that =p), but there’s still this attachment and I’m telling myself I don’t want him in my life anymore, though from time to time I’ll wonder what’s going on in his life and how’s he doing…I wish he’d be open to me, does he feel a sense of responsibility to give me a hand for forensics, does he have the hots for Lesley, is he on track for his academic goals? I’m genuinely interested and believe I would be truly happy for him. The only fact that he would be closed up to me is what hurts the most, and I have been avoiding it by not calling and getting updates. So………………..call now? YES 😀

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