Thou greatest enemy is thyself

More of uni life
August 8, 2008, 12:43 am
Filed under: food, platonic, reflection, romantic, wkw

I love the Biz Law police-turned-lawyer-turned-lecturer Koh Peng Kwee. He was sooooooo funny that we all peng from laughing xD Another powerhouse lecturer was a female Australian angmoh who lectured on Media 21, Singapore’s grand scheme to grow our arts scene through financing local films. Cool right…pity the only prolific directors are Eric Khoo, Jack Neo and most recently, Royston Tan.

Today at COM201 we had to invent our own communication model and present it to the whole cohort. My group did one based on the recent furore over Dawn Yang’s defamation suit to Xia Xue. and threw in some bio analogy about ‘partially permeable membranes’ and ‘osmosis’. Kinda cool…but the skit was nerve-wracking; I didn’t even pause long enough for the audience to laugh! =P Met some new people during the discussion like Avril and Yamuna, whose poetic Buddhist name stuck with me since orientation camp Animal Sound game. (We were both chickens!)

Then Cassandra brought me to meet her BS (Buddhist Society. What were you thinking?!)  friends Hui Ying and Yao Tang a senior. They were damn lively ppl, studying Chinese, so we conversed mainly in Mandarin. Yao Tang treated me to Chendol!!! Must-try from Hall 5! They use gula melaka and coconut milk, couldn’t be more authentic than that! Plus the fillings are filling lol…grass jelly cubes (instead of the normal plastic-like jelly), green worms and red bean. Jia Yi is a happy girl =DD Plus he’s gonna intro me to NTU wushu Training I/C. Ok must treat him back, but Cass told me to exploit his kindness.. MWAHAHA >D


Wonderful end to the day, though..I am confused now. Hmm..since it’s already like that, perhaps it’s a signal I should get prepped for real work too. Snap out of the holiday mood girl! You might have bitten off more than you can chew, so make sure you can cope with the workload this sem in addition to EOY dance perf practices.


August 6, 2008, 2:39 am
Filed under: platonic, reflection

The Bottom Line

Your self worth is deep within you, and you should lean on it. Believe in yourself.

In Detail

Your growing sense of self worth has come from deep within you, and that’s why it is so strong and meaningful. Now, if your self worth was built only on compliments or other people validating your achievements, then it wouldn’t be as solid. But you’ve taken risks and proven to yourself that you rock — and you rock hard. So have no fears that you will lose your confidence just because you stumble here or there. You’re made of stronger stuff than that, so have faith in yourself!

Exactly what I need…to know that I rawk…like really… Ling told me recently that we’re all in a transition period, and I cross my fingers and toes that all of us would emerge as better persons.

Jazz exam results comin out on Saturday, National Day gathering at Chinatown studio…NERVOUS! Lao shi raised a very valid point, ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’ Exactly..I have somany good points yet I focus on the bad ones =.= like wth.

UPDATE: I attained Honours for Jazz Gold Medal! Lol…felt surprisingly neutral, the only thought on my mind was, you could have done better! Hmph.. That Ms Marlek is biased to boys..*grumbles*  Nevertheless, it was an awesome experience and I’m really inspired to choreograph my own stuff. made a card for Veron and DLG btw..


The first 3 days in school…
August 6, 2008, 1:15 am
Filed under: platonic, poem, reflection, romantic

On Sunday evening, I officially moved into NTU with my family in tow, who helped to clean up and arrange my belongings, Papa even volunteered to drop by if I need anything. Then we trooped down to Hall 9 canteen to have dinner and my mum started to nag about having proper meals and early bedtimes (ya right early in the morning 2am). Despite stoning throughout, I was actually quite touched by their presence. When they left, my heart felt a bit empty (._.)

A teeny bit only…I think I’ll adapt well to hall life after the initial ennui. Found the resident puppies and they were such CUTE FURBALLS! Still…they’re no a substitute for my kitties. Met my roomie JOYCE, who’s unbelievably nice and smiley. =) She’s studying English in AHSS, but but she likes to throw in some Chinese and Hokkien, which is so endearing.

Darn…I wanna hug it to sleep, lol…          Check it out…SYNCHRONIZED SLEEPIN’!

first day of school. The aircon spoiled, projecter overheated, but our COM203 lecturer Sherian George’s wit and charm deflected those distractions and directed us to the most important questions that we should ask. Why are we here? What does being a media professional mean?  How are we going to be critical in our thinking? Gonna find the seniors and see things from their perspective. Hope to ask my idol in Kinetic too =DD

Next lecture COM205 was more meaty i guess but less appealing. Public speaking was something I’ve always dabbled in, but one thing really struck me: to do really well in it, we’ve GOT to put the audience first and GIVE them the best speech ever, instead of focusing on ourselves. I’m glad that my tutorials are given by the Australian angmoh, he’s less sleep-inducing than Verena Tay. Assignments include presenting an Aesop’s fable, 2 prepared speeches and 1 IMPROMPTU speech. (@.@”)

Spent $88 on stationery and the textbook ‘The Art of Public Speaking’. Should have bought it cheap from seniors, but I couldn’t withstand the allure of a gleaming new tome.  Oh ya met an old friend from Chung Cheng! EUNICE =) She’s into photojournalism too! Cool right… Who knows? In the distant future of doing FYP we might work hand in hand. x)

The low point of the day was finding out that I knew nuts about STARS, our exciting first-click-first-serve version of NUS’ bidding system. Basically, there are three strategies for getting the cores and electives you want; either camping at your com way before course registration starts fingers poised over the mouse to click the course you want, scavenging for droppings..sorry..dropped courses, or trading courses with other people. As a last resort, one could still appeal but I’m not counting on that. Collapsed at twelve midnight, which is a good sign that my body is adjusting back to its normal circadian rhythm.

Tuesday we had COM201, which is The Introduction, but we barely registered as everyone was staring at STARS and frantically reorganizing their plans, squeezing their slots into three or four days so that one day is left free, while considering the vacancies left for the course. I was really fortunate to have Jiang Shuang and Audrey help me through the phone the previous night, but it was only at this moment that Xiao Xuan corrected a huge blunder I made: I thought that I had to choose 3 new cores, but we only had to include the existing 3 the school allocated to us! Whew… Both Kenneths lent me their lappies too, but it was Xiao Ken the senior who helped me decide my final combi for the semester: COM201, COM203, COM204, COM205, HMF1 (French), MB107 (Business Law). Hehehe…I’m following in SJ’s footsteps, she was the only one who did COM204 and 205 concurrently. What’s more, this means I can take lots of courses that need COM204 (Basic Media Writing) as a prerequisite. Next semester, for Prescribed Electives I’d target MB103 Marketing, MB106 Management, PHO215 B&W Photography, BS804 TCM/ MP8085 HIstory of Great Inventions.

Thanks ken for your prods towards the right direction. =) I’ll find my way around somehow. And thanks Shi Xiong for looking out for me and brightening up my day with that very cheeky and vaguely tiko smile (I know you can’t help it LOL!). I have never found Buddhism as relevant as now, in an unfamiliar environment, feeling strangely alienated to friends and family alike, with the exception of two, Ling and Xing.

Went for Wushu training, on the rooftop!! What a training to remember. Foochow Assoc is really stifling our growth, no wonder Lao Shi’s moving to Tanong Pagar CC. Somehow, there is an urgent need to open my heart and vent out those chaotic feelings. Or I would lose even the love of my life, Dance.

~I think of you in the shadows of the night,
a solitary cat under the pale moonlight.~

~If love means letting go, why did I hold on to
the hope for a ‘happily ever after’…~

Family day
July 28, 2008, 12:45 am
Filed under: family, platonic, reflection, work

Sundayyy…family day…has changed to tuteee dayy…. Have arranged with the 3 siblings. When I start school, I’ll only tutor them on Sunday =) Added Math tuition for the youngest. Haha saw their K1 lower pri class photos today, Chin and Duo were thinner then!! Fatter is cuter though x)) And and and, I was so touched when Angie ladled a bowl of mince pork and fish porridge for me!

It’s even nicer than my mum’s cooking! Lol…just stating facts!

Then I took photo downstairs with Zo Ro and Dex. So sad la.. I ‘gave’ Rodex to Jeremy cuz he lives like one street away from them, sure hope he’s not just in for the moolah. I mean…i really wanna see both of them improve in Math!

Ro Zo and yours truly the coolest tuition teacher ever~

After that my mum maid sis and I went to East Coast Park and cycled for an hour, taking different routes LOL! Then went to Parkway where my sis and I went to eat at MOS Burger then I went to Watsons to buy Salon Pas stickers and Tiger Balm muscle rub.

Oh yes I forgot to update about OG outing, It was better than expected, tho my kitten heels killed me after standing in them throughout the screening of Hairspray. This reminded me about the last time I went to watch an outdoor movie at National Museum: The Three Nocturnes, an old school Chan Brothers movie musical starring Feng Fei Fei. Oh yes check out some pics of the illuminated National Museum.

The white outlines superimposed painstakingly by an Australian company.

The austere white abrubtly changed to this funky colour combi.

The mass comm seniors are really friendly, including Lyon, Xiao Ken, Cameron, Sara Jean, Sheema, Yiting, Cheryl and Yan Liang, Mel MIA =( and I was hoping to ask her more about joining hip-hop.. Feeling much happier now, as I have a wonderful emo cocky counterpart in Kenneth to learn from, though i realised that some people 先敬罗衣再敬人, must be wary of *ahem*. I realised too that one of the favourite pastimes of mass commers is boozing, which I would avoid as that’s breaking precepts. However, it’s a pity to miss out on the fun at seeing them drunk and act drunk myself xD

Oh ya… That’s S.A.M. from a distance, beautiful ain’t it =D

July 27, 2008, 1:05 am
Filed under: dance / wushu, platonic, rant, reflection, romantic

Today…saturday…always the day when i come to Foochow Assoc for dance and wushu. My senses are deadened. My joy is muted. My brain is turmoiled. Or it could just be me…pms-ing… instead of being pro-active in making life a lil better. Haha.

Wushu competition is drawing near, and because of the constant pushing myself to the max those past months of practice, and that freak accident involving me flying into Kenny’s armpit while doing xuan zi, the whole right side of my body is now in a sorry condition. Lol…from top to bottom: head, neck, back, shoulder joint, wrist, waist, knee and ankle, with the exception of my toe. My LEFT little toenail got ripped off, now it’s re-attached by a congealed mass of blood. Put on a plaster to hide the gruesome sight.

Thankfully, it’s nothing a superb bowl of fish soup downstairs and nice company can’t solve! HAHAHA! Ok…Ruo Dan, Li Ling, Kai Ling, Samartha, Angelina and I had lunch, and Sam was sharing her aggravating account of some irritating NIE freshies who is whining and sniping at the organisers’ efforts. Totally immature, he’ll never make it in a real school if he doesn’t learn how to get along with current classmates (aka future colleagues) and suck up to their seniors (aka potential HOD or Principal). What happened to the old adage of ‘putting yourself in another’s shoes’? Do you think you could handle welfare, logistics, games, admin and miscellaneous as competently as your seniors? Show a little respect!!! And it’s no longer enough for a teacher to teach, you are expected to organise events and create a positive public image. A little fact gleaned by CCHMS former discipline master Mr Soon: Schools are now run like corporations, competition is cut-throat. You can’t attract students? Expect to get less funding and die off eventually. *sombre silence* (Mr Soon always has that effect, damn pro he was.)

Oh yes, Angelina commented on my face, it’s getting worse cuz of the late nights, stress over uni preparations and PMS. Maybe I’ll go for facial tomorrow after giving tuition. Plan plan: Morning jog 8-9, tuition 10-4.30, facial set appointment at 6.30? Enough time to go home, shower, eat dinner, go online. I used to have such low self-esteem over my face, but now I won’t worry so much. If I take care of what’s inside, the outside will improve naturally =) I’m optimistic.

After that I headed to Bugis, Waterloo Street specifically, for tie da, Brendan’s Uncle specifically. He works miracles seriously. Last year I also looked for him for my knees and sprained wrist. Ok back to my back. He started by slathering on oil and gliding a suction cup along my back, enough to make me squeal as the muscles were so tensed up. The he planted a few more of those ‘suckers’ at strategic points and adjusted them accordingly. I couldn’t really remember the order after that but he did those twists and cracks and kneading and heating. Damn shiok after the whole thing but now it’s a little sore cuz the healing process is takin place. Best of all, he only charged me $28.40!!! Medicated plaster FOC!! THANKS YONG TING, i mean BRENDAN lol… People look for DR TAY KOK MENG…he RAWKS!

Side note: I don’t get why people aren’t proud of their Chinese names. It’s so rich with meaning encapsulated in that 2 or 3 characters. Well that’s not saying English names are bad, it could be part of your upbringing (religion, family tradition, etc) or your metamorphosis into an adult (discovering your true self, creating a new identity, emulating an idol, etc.)

Ohwell…went home and slacked with my mum and sis, it’s a nice warm fuzzy feeling slacking with them. Heh. My goal is to treat them better, after all they deserve the best in me. Haha gotta learn from Kim in this area, The Filial Son/Tough-love Brother/Caring Boyfriend. I don’t know if I’m over-sensitive or what but it’s been EXACTLY a month since he last kissed me, as in kiss until I can swoon of happiness, the last time he ‘kissed’ (note inverted commas) me was a dry peck on the lips, just a brush, landed infinitely slowly and softly, and ONLY because I said I wanted to kiss him (Okay this is so pathetic I didn’t wanna put it down at first).  RARR! *sulks*  Yes I know lots of things are happening to him, really heartbreaking too and my heart breaks with him, but I want to share it with him because he is important to me! Why withdraw and just say ‘no mood’? =X Argh.. Yes I know I mentioned that I didn’t want the physical to define our relationship, but that doesn’t mean that the emotional and mental part should be neglected. And when even the physical is lost, then I might as well be a friend with the label of ‘Girlfriend’.. And if he always hangs out with his homies I’d rather be a homie really then I can really share his troubles, laugh at his idiotic antics and even enjoy a comfortable silence without expecting more… Ack…I’m getting all worked up again though I just replied his sms lightheartedly. Perhaps I should take a leaf out of Li Ling and Sophie. 1. Be cheerful and act cute (sophie) 2. DEH more and subtly hint that I want his affection (Li Ling) but both are so not my forte so 3. i’ll just give him space and time until he eventually misses me (Jia Yi).

One comment that struck me ‘Only a stupid guy would be sad over a girl’. If that’s your philosophy then…..i shall go and sleep and forget about it. No use mulling over it.

I <3 Saturdays!
June 29, 2008, 3:13 am
Filed under: dance / wushu, fashion, jewellery, platonic, reflection, romantic

Went to SFA as usual for dance and wushu, practised from 10-6 almost non-stop, but I was happy =) I’m still a little unsteady in dance due to my knees but i get the FEEL alright. And in ji ti jian, I like the challenge of being part of the group and helping each other to reach greater heights. Xiao Dan lao shi (originally from DES) is a great asset and I’m so grateful she’s here to teach us! She’s a China coach and her grace speed and strength inspire me to achieve perfection in sword.

Skipped lunch to burn some kiddy music from De Li Ge’s laptop. He gave me quite a few lobangs: St Hilda’s hip-hop, Anchorgreen tambourine/creative movt and Park View ethnic fusion. Right now I also hold quite a few tuition jobs: 7 kids at Kembangan alone, and one who lives near me. I should earn around $2K for July (minus 5 days of Mass Comm camp). Yet it’s useless as I’m overspending!!! For example, I spent a whopping $470 during the Mango sale at the Parkway and Tampines Mall branch; at Aldo I easily spent a hundred. Online shopping and impulse buys here and there amount to a substantial amount too. I can’t help it! The discounts are 40-50% and I’ve been eyeing certain items for ages~ It’s time to clear my wardrobe, and recoup my losses =.=lll

What else…oh I bought these at the Suntec branch of Fat Face, both at 60% off!green. 
Metal leaf necklace $43.90 $16.90                               Shell bracelet $29.90 $12.90

Herman helped me pick =D and he was even more patient than Liu Xing xD LOL!  He’s The BGF (Best Guy Friend) Ever! It’s like what’s the point of accompanying someone to go shopping and saying that EVERYTHING’S nice? One’s gotta give an honest opinion about what’s hot…and what’s not…about you; it shows that one genuinely cares. One of my BFFs is Sophie, she wrote me a letter that kickstarted my efforts to change for the better, and I think a reply is looooong overdue… Sometimes, I marvel at how we go way back, and when I KNOW where she came from, it makes me understand her current position more.

What else…oh yeah thought quite a lot about the definition of love. I guess my ideal relationship would be with a guy who would change for me for the better, who wants to make our bond stronger little by little, and think I’m special enough to constantly encourage me and shower me with praise cuz I NEVER get tired of them and it is in fact the fuel for my drive to succeed. Looks do matter in the initial attraction, but who cares anyway? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and my love is always the most handsome! x)) Character is of utmost importance, I was so pleased when I showed DLG a photo of Kim and I, and he went ‘He looks like a decent guy.’ basically that’s his stamp of approval, cuz he’s seen all sorts.

A PHOTO. It holds fond memories (^.^)
of a roll in the grass, haha…

I’m pretty contented with my life now. BUUUT…my old bad habit of PROCRASTINATING is creeping baaack. Still got 2 GP essays to do for SOT’s Broader Perspectives mag and the NTU mass comm online procedure T.T Get it over and done with Jia Yi!!!

May 29, 2008, 11:43 pm
Filed under: reflection

The Bottom Line

You can choose to help someone out today — but if you choose not to, that’s okay.

In Detail

Today you will find yourself with the interesting problem of having plenty of energy, but nothing to do! So what are you going to do — channel all of this energy toward cooking up some new adventure, or jump into a coworker’s stressful situation and help them sort it all out? It’s basically a question of whether you feel selfish, today, or selfless, today. And just for the record, the universe says that either option is acceptable. Choose according to your mood.


Helped Xing with her logos today. Her course TP Mass Comm would have been perfect for me had i not gone into JC. Bought 3 books at PP borders and met Yin Rong!! My Sec 1 and 2 classmate xD She;s going into NTU Biological Sciences. YAY! Gonna be schmates x) Oh and Xing and I bought a $60 top from Fat Face, SCARY~ Oh and I got my paycheck for the 3 siblings today $240 WOOHOO, but I spent like $120 earlier, so yeah..

I haven’t been updating my blog cuz my life’s been turned upside down, in a Dorothy of Oz way =p

April 26, 2008, 2:03 am
Filed under: movie, reflection, review

Friday is friggin awesommmmme! Went to the sell-out concert of The Great Spy Experiment (GSE) at the Esplanade Recital Studio. I remember the music and swaying to it, ended up jumping like mad in my strappy 3-inch heels and know my knees are numb…from pain. but ANYWAY, that wasn’t the point, the band members are just such great performers! Saiful is the lead singer, sleek stylo milo, Song the second guitarist is more flamboyant, what with the hair (OMG u gotta see his hair!!!), Bassist Khairil is the most enthu one and prone to stunts, obviously into bodybuilding as he stripped off his shirt halfway to reveal his bulging biceps. Show off. He’s already dating Magdalene lah, the keyboardist and synthesiser operator. Last but definitely NOT least is the drummer….(insert name)……he’s damn funny, cracking lame jokes and grinning very goofily and looking very hangdog when he goes into the trance-like state.

Fast fwd fast fwd…the autograph session, i got them to sign on the GSE tee i got, WHILE WEARING IT. Hehehehe…I asked Song if he’s Chinese or Malay, cuz he’s the fairest but looks Malay and he’s CHINESE, surname TAN, and i went ‘OH I’M A TAN ALSO’, and K quipped ‘Eh same family!’ and Song went ‘Aww~ shucks’. Arhz..he doesn’t matter. My loves Zai Zul and his poly friend Jerraline (not sure of spelling) accompanied me. J jas a cool tatto on her…left shoulder..yep AND she studies fashion design at TP, i’m so jealous, but nvm, I GOT INTO NTU MASS COMM!

Yeap u heard it…WEE KIM WEE SCHOOL OF COMMUNICATION STUDIES! Ok lah that’s the biggest news of all for Friday. =) My father was so happy. My mum too, since my father was happy. San Jie, Ling and Soph knew the news as I was taking the bus home from Northland Pri.

Thursday first meeting with Ling her NTU friend XiXun and RongXin fellow TJCian. We’re joining Citibank-YMCA Youth for Causes!! What I liked was that the non-profit org (NPO) the 3 of them chose was Buddhist. Metta School, rings a bell? Well no it didn’t at first, then as we were discussing happily into the 3rd hour I buried my face in my hands and gave a strangled cry cuz i realized the first time I heard about it was….and we had to come up with a PROPOSAL to help them…(inside thing, only Ling knew how i felt, lol…argh) I LOVE the direction we’re taking, helping to raise awareness of social enterprises (SE) in Singapore as well as increase support for the intellectually disabled youths aat Happy Arts Deli. It’s gonna take the form of a carnival and we’re targetting at JC students, whom I believe are NOT apathetic. (Even if they are, we’ve got a secret weapon, GP content. Mwahaha.)

Wednesday went to watch Good Night and Good Luck about the McCarthy Era and the power of the media, mindblowing stuff and an uber-cool cinematic classic. B&W, George Clooney, jazz, powerful but concise speeches that struck the hearts of American people. Go figure. Much much later into the night I confided in the BFG again, suddenly occurred to me that things for my ears and my eyes only shouldn’t be displayed at liberty on my blog, never ever would i think that someone would search for it and inform someone I care about and respect and depend on a lot, what a good thing it didn’t affect BFG like previous cases have. Like ‘Lil ol me? Oh man I didn’t expect anyone except my close friends to wanna read my blog u know?’ And anyway they receive regular verbal updates from me, no need to read blog.

I’m now drifting again. I tend to avoid conversations with ppl who are impt to me, past examples include Hwee and De Li Ge. And now the most crucial one but what others think should be the least important? I should just forget>? Attachment brings suffering? Expecially if he doesn’t care enough for me to keep things amicable? If I really really love a person, wish him well and happy. I have too much baggage, and I absolutely don’t want a relationship to be a means to an end, to fill the void in my heart, but rather to share an overbrimming cup of love. I dunno what crap I’m spouting when it just hurts to be misunderstood and I’ve never been one to enhance and highlight my assets but I react so immediately that it just sends the wrong msg. I’m so sad right now that i don’t know what to do. Were you thinking the same thing as me as we were both watching that anal flick? I flinched at your touch only becuase it jolted my senses so much and brought back those memories in a flood. Perhaps it IS better to let go. I fyou’re happy i’m happy, but could u please, just tell me, there’s no way anymore and maybe you could make someone else happier instead of hitting the pause and play on my suffering. The saddest saddest thing is, it’s either ALL but NOTHING. Not even friendship? I wish you could read this but it’s all in a jumble and you’ve got more pressing things to worry about, like school. The end, I don’t stand a chance against the bitches, except for friends who know how sensitive and raw i am and buffer me against the shit that’s going on. *HUGS*


Bawled my eyes out. all our lives we’re yearning for that unconditional love.

I wish one day I will be able to give it.

November 9, 2007, 3:17 pm
Filed under: reflection

Mark my words:
All things pass…
REALLY fast.
Crying’s for love that never lasts.’

Usurp her throne,
Should Lady Luck
smile and…
Nary a peep this
girl shall mouth.’

What exquisite pain…
pain my ASS XD
Tragedy and comedy are two sides of the same coin.
I’m such a genius, thought of it in the shower)
First one at 2.50am 8 Nov
second one in the morning 10.27am
So much better than

Just as the moon rises and sets
I must continue what must be done.
As unbelievable as it may seem,
You are the one. The one…
I cannot forget.

Today I went to meet Mr Tickles to ‘confirm’ the break-up. Who am I kidding, I still have feelings for him, but it’s obvious now, that HE’S NOT INTO ME enough, figuratively. And that he wouldn’t change his style of ‘I love you, I just don’t show it’ for me. Oh well *shrugs* I can’t hate the sun for making me HOT and sticky and smelly, it’s just being itself.

My first reaction was, how pathetic, here I am practically begging for affection and he doesn’t budge. Oh so cool and rational, and sparing me that bit of time because he’s going out with his buddies. *rolls eyes* what an arrogant bastard, albeit a cute one cuz his hair is longer now. and he keeps doing that irritating shake-fringe-aside thing.

Hwee is right. I can’t get into a relationship unless i can be happy by myself. He correctly pointed out that I had to compare myself to or seek assurance of others to feel a sense of self-worth. Thankfully, we already know the problem so I can set myself to fixing that self-inflicted self-loathing mindset.

Another thing that jolted me to my senses was the fact htat many people care about me, loads more than mr tickles does. Is it a coincidence or what, but Huiyan smsed me to asked if i was alright and how was i coping with A’s so far. I’m not particularly close to her or confide much in her, but apparently she caught wind of The Problem and went out of her way to offer me a sympathetic ear. How sweet..

Li ling was even sweeter still, I really think we have some telepathic link. She’s been mugging so hard all along now suddenly pop out sms me, and when she knew I officially broke up with Mr Tickles she called immediately. OMG OMG OMG *flaps at eyes that are getting suspiciously shiny* The gist of our convo was a summation of my love-life this 2 years. First it was bugs bunny (i-know-everyone-show-off), who taught me that being sociable can only be good as it not only enhances one’s image but also increases the chances of netting a potential good friend. And it gave me much insight on myself, that I’m attracted to bad boys *blah* But Mr Tickles was a good guy, a nice guy even who poses as a meanie. *but he must have had a soft spot for me*

Though I was considerably more confident than in my sec sch days (To Zixuan and justin: a truly perplexed and smiling politely ‘Why do u even like me?’) I was still unprepared emotionally and character-wise to stand against him. I became needy and too attached to him and he naturally became very ‘ya-ya’. Liu yishi was right. He said that r/s is just like fishing to guys; first they reel u in tight, then they keep unwinding, and if the fish let go, they’ll put more bait and start winding again, sometimes choosing to throw back the fish into the ocean after getting their paws on it. -.-” Liu doc is rly very lao lian, and he said other than looks and capbilities, responsibility and the way he deals with hardship is even more impt.

Went to watch Stardust with En to lift my mood (a good movie ALWAYS works =D) Claire Danes was the fallen star Evanne, who falls for Tristan, the guy who looks unremarkable but shows his roots eventually. It’s a nice sort of play in words. Stars glow even brighter when they’re in love, and i guess both mr tickles and I did, but he seemed to rob me of my shine, as i’ve given way more of my heart to him. But nvm, it’s better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all..

Good riddance to mr tickles. I presume too much yeah? me and my big mouth. Things I’ve learnt: NEVER let the guy know that u miss him, or how MUCH u love him. Remember his favourite things and show some care and concern but not too much, or it’ll become worthless. Don’t be too good to guys, they take things for granted easily. Reciprocate by half, always ask, is he WORTH me?

What I learnt during march holidays
March 19, 2007, 12:56 am
Filed under: reflection

1. Never EVER waste time going out
(UNLESS it’s important stuff like watching concerts with music seniors)

2. Hunker down and mug, do NOT succumb to temptation. 先苦后甜!

3. Be mindful of what I eat and when I sleep.
(In other words, bingeing and sleeping at 2am every night for 7 days is not healthy.)

4. Selective absorption of 精神粮食 and words of wisdom!

5. Treat everyone equally nice =D
(Inspired by Keli’s post abt loving each friend and family member 100% and not investing according to how much u like that person.)