Thou greatest enemy is thyself

$15 : noir-et-rougeee

$26 : love and bravery

heels from zipia US$28

couple charms from etude online $20

smart koreans, can’t copy their images!

the tempest
subsides…
rhythmic rocking resumes.

buoyed by
whispers,
of winsome whims.

only to
be thwarted by
‘toopid talking .

haha poem doesn’t make sense.

The root canal of my left front tooth wasn’t as bad as I imagined, partly because I was heavily anesthetized (knock me out doc!) and most importantly Darling was beside me clutching my hand and cracking lame jokes. The trauma from the previous drilling of my hypersensitive left front tooth has all but disappeared, but the physical trauma to said tooth and surrounding teeth must be treated with TLC.

Nevertheless, I still turned up for practice as it was time for Dance Evaluation. Nothing warned me for what was in store. Five minutes into Luigi, he suddenly stopped class, called it crap and sat us down for an ultimatum. The crux: are we content with being mediocre and putting up Next Wave for friends and family. or do we want to push ourselves to evolve into a professional dance company with national and international recognition? No-one dared breathe a word, but it all spilled out after Zaini left. The path was clear actually, hitch onto NUS Arts Festival and use their resources and legitimacy to catapult us into the public eye, then concurrently progress to other external events.

He didn’t like dumb dancers, in all senses of the word. But I felt that speaking up was kind of pointless as I haven’t gained much clout and DE is obviously his baby nurtured for 18 years. So what right do I have to comment? But what I do feel keenly is that existing members do not really bother to connect with first-years or at least disseminate information. As Sharon was aptly frustrated, it’s the dancers who have to act, but how can we when you don’t appeal to us? I’m still in the loop via Yahoo Groups and have to depend on weekly updates by Jeanette or Li Ling. Sharon gets frustrated when I remind her about my pending membership. Yes she must have bigger things to worry about, but as what she herself has said, if the dancers’ basic needs are not taken care of, how do you move on to bigger things?

Right now, all i can do, and always have been doing, is to be a good dancer and member. Attend tech class regularly, sometimes despite feeling unwell, join external events like Asian Youth Games, as far as possible, align with Zaini’s vision and constantly give my best in that mere 3 hours in tech class and miscellaneous rehearsals. What I’m so worried about is that being an NTU student, their schedule might clash with mine. And less pressing matter would be that I’m still not officially ‘in’ yet, having jumped in beginning of this year and sort of surprise people with my presence. But I believe that will slowly change. If they can see my sincerity for dance and determination to improve myself, and not just being a ‘freeloader’ riding on their reputation, maybe things will get more pleasant yet 🙂 if it doesn’t who cares, I’ll just continue with my craft.