Thou greatest enemy is thyself


coincidence
September 19, 2007, 3:09 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Yesterday (Tue) met Xu shu shu Yan ah yi and Xu Ling and Liu yi shi’s (: HE COULDN’T RECOGNISE ME!! WAHAHAHAHA!!

Last Sunday?? had my first maths tuition with Sophie, she’s really good, it makes sense to me now, this whole cosmic truth about Stats: CLT, Hypo testnig, BPN distribution, correlation and regression. Had gastric though cuz I ate McVities for dinner washed down with water, so bloated and painful. Stress-induced too. Monday was a BIT better.

I. LOVE. JACOBS. BISCUITS. LOL. I. MISS. MY. GRANDMA.

How do you pronounce malleable? I realise that the computer and piano are two of the greatest time suckers for quality company.

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September 13, 2007, 4:55 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Watched Rogue Assasin. And I found that emotions are so transient. TRUST



STUPID SURVEY! (Proud to be Singaporean)
September 13, 2007, 3:30 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Hello, my name is:
(^) Singapore

When I’m nervous:
(^) I push up my specs and get all the facts right.

The last song I listened to was:
(^)Majulah Moolah

If I were to get married right now
the best person would be:
(^) that up and coming stud! or the rich old man? Hmm..maybe both >P

By this time next year I’ll be:
(^) publishing a report about how indians ‘made it’ thanks to me.

I have a hard time understanding:
(^) why i spend more money entertaining China than doing business with them.

My middle name is:
(^) Pragmatic

This Morning:
(^) I was feeling the heat from all the friction with Malaysia next door.

Last night I was talking to:
(^) LKY, again. Where would I be without him?

If I was an animal I’d be:
(^) an orang utan, swinging high up in the tree tops and socialising. After all it’s a well-known icon in Mandai Zoo.

A better name for me would be:
(^) ‘Disneydeath’ Disneyland with a Death Penalty.

Next monday night I’ll be:
(^) Hearing the good news from George Yeo about the APEC (and Condi Rice) meeting.

I’m missing:
(^) Nothing, at least for the next 20 years. Wait let me check again. Oh s*** i need some new blood in PAP.

My heart is:
(^) dictated by my brain in earning money. However, it can be utterly disconnected with my brain with respect to charity.

PART 1:

Were you a planned baby?
(^) Erm..I’m an Asian baby, almost got aborted by.. *sigh*

Were you the first?
(^) Nope I’m the last. Oh wait I helped deliver Timor Leste a few years back.

Were your parents married when you
were born?
(^) It was a marriage of convenience (more like life-and-death situation for me)

What is your birth date?
(^) 9th August 1965. Ironically it’s the day we were severed off and left to die.

PART 2:

Are you an only child?
[+]. Nah.

If you have siblings are you oldest,
middle, or youngest?
(^) 2nd youngest.

Which parent do you get along with
best?
(^) Definitely NOT Southeast Asia.

Do you have step-parents?
(^) Briain and Japan.

PART 4:

Do you have low self-esteem?
(^) For all that ‘No. 1 in everything’ reputation, only faraway friends appreciate us, we’re surrounded by bullies, not that we give a damn.

Do you get depressed about things
easily?
(^) If I had time to mope I wouldn’t be here right now. Survival first.

Are you happy right now?
(^) There’s always MORE money to be earned! xD Something’s been bothering me though, my children are so bor-ing..

PART 5:

Are you comfortable with the way you
look?
(^) I get regular facelifts, and try to inject new life, but something’s still lacking.

Describe your hair:
(^) Hair? What hair? NS…stress..’Nuff said.

Were you a strange child?
[+]. I guess so? We went around selling coffins and toilet bowls to make ends meet.

PART 6:

Are you scared of growing up old and
alone?
(^) Yes, my children..many of them are leaving me, the best and brightest..

Own any pets?
(^) Ooo..our genetic experiment gone wrong. Cat with fish tail which slobbers like a dog – MERLION!

Do you have a license?
(^) Ya we got license for AVLEETING

Ever been thrown out of a bar?
(^) No I always talk my way out of it.

PART 7:

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?
(^) My nickname is ‘Air-conditioned Nation’, you say leh?

favorite season?
(^) Monsoooon season! More rain, more water, less pee.

Do you like walking in the rain?
(^) Absolutely.

Do you like thunderstorms?
(^) Not really, what if they strike my precious HDB flats?

Ever peed outside?
(^) Nooo..every DROP is important!! (Read: NEWater)

PART 8:

Are you a vegetarian?
(^) I import 100,000 chickens from malaysia, 100,000 from elsewhere DAILY. And that’s ONLY the chicken.

Anything you absolutely could eat
forever?
(^) Rojak of Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indian and Western food. Ok that’s cheating.

What food makes you want to gag?
(^) Durian. Especially the two that cost me $60 million.

What is your favorite dessert?
(^) Ice kachang, anything with ice lah it’s so damn hot.

PART 9:

do you believe in love at first
sight?
(^) Yes, ohh yes. [$.$]

Do you want to get married?
(^) Sure as long as we mutually benefit.

Hate any of your ex?
(^) No i still keep in contact with them in case we fall right back into love.



food food food
September 12, 2007, 2:48 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Yesterday…after Maths paper 1, which was quite disastrous but I managed not to run out screaming, my father mum and i went to the peranakan restaurant along east coast road for lunch! Love it there, had the standard meatball soup, ngoh hiang, kang kong, and tried sambal sotong, assam fish and vegetable curry stew. Soooo spicy >D just the way I like it, washed down with lime juice it’s just heavenly. Then I had home-made grass jelly which was especially smooth and slipped down the throat pleasantly. THEN, I bought tau huay from the korean restaurant (no link i know) about 3-4 shops away, one of the BEST i’ve tried. It’s soft and yielding with just the right hint of sweetness, not cloying syrup urgh..thank goodness.

Today I tried the murtabak at the corner opposite the police post. BEST i’ve tried, really. Not too oily but fried to a lovely crisp outside with inner layers that are thin and tearable. The chicken was fresh and mingled perfectly among the onions and eggs. And $4 serving is enough for 2! The teh was too sweet though, they obviously try to cut cost by adding half cup of condensed milk.

HOWEVER, nothing beats home-cooked food by aunty lorna (((: i’ll sure miss it when she migrates to spain with her husband and 2 sons ))): So i begged her to teach me her culinary skills, and she said, ‘find it within…’ haha and a whole lot of stuff abt women having to nkow the basic housework and stuff to take care of oneself, and be independent EMOTIONALLY from guys. Oh well. WTH



GREEEEEN
September 10, 2007, 3:09 pm
Filed under: test
You Are Teal Green


You are a one of a kind, original person.
There’s no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack
for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat,
you don’t scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts
any strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?



I promise
September 10, 2007, 2:16 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I hereby make a promise to myself, that I would strive to improve in every possible way, and overcome my mediocre self to achieve my true potential, EXCELLENCE. Maybe not this A’s hurdle but in any future endeavours.

For pragmatic personal purposes, I shall be mindful of my anger (to parents) and aversion (to studying) whenever it arises, instead i will cultivate a constantly thinking and focused mind, banish my fear and replenish my self-confidence. This is only temporary bad karma to be cleared. Soon.

No decadent ice-cream and carbs, more protein, omega 3 fatty acids and nightly exercise to keep my brain and body in tip-top condition. Empty my heart of craving for him, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Too much of a good thing is bad, we have indulged senselessly for too long -_______-“



Big Girls are Beautiful
September 9, 2007, 12:59 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Recently watched Hairspray, the musical/movie starring John Travolta in a female fat suit and Nikki Blonsky as Tracy Turnblad, her irrepressible politically-correct daughter who makes it big, pardon the pun, on the Corny Collins dance show. There’s no doubt she has a great voice, great personality and great moves. It’s really refreshing to see plus-sized protagonists, Queen Latifah as Motormouth Maybelle is another example. The stick insects are portrayed as the villains; Michelle Pfeifer looks like a wrinkly Barbie doll tottering around with an oversized head. Even the supporting roles Amanda Bynes and Zac Efron are curvaceous and sport that lean athletic look respectively. I think it’s high time that fat ppl go mainstream in the media, it’s evident that they have as much (or even more) personal magnetism (ignore that ‘going into orbit’ joke) as conventionally skinny stars, AND they cater to a larger demographic in the US. It makes economic sense and celebrates social differences.

There are many celebrated icons out there who do not fit the cookie cutter size 6 and below. Oprah Winfrey is one, still alive and kicking and raking in big bucks. Another Hong Kong household star is Lydia Sum. Sadly, she’s battling terminal liver cancer and it’s utterly heartbreaking to see her shrink to her current frail state. Pavarotti has already succumbed to liver cancer. Sigh…

Actually, I detest fatness, it represents weakness of will to me. But some natural chubbiness is okay, it can mean an enjoyment of luxury, like FOOOD. I especially admire Huimin, who actively lost half her original weight by swimming and NOT crash dieting. Argh..if I’m not careful, my figure will go to seed and become PEAR-SHAPE. The hips and thighs are simply nightmare areas!! @.@”



blah
September 6, 2007, 1:04 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

‘The Art of Happiness’ by the 14th Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso.

Excerpt: Bodily contact, sharing emotions and exchanging ideas are all legitimate ways of connecting with those we love. It is normal for the balance to wax and wane: sometimes physical closeness decreases but emotional closeness can increase; at other times we don’t feel like sharing words but just want to be held. If we are sensitive to this issue, we can rejoice in the initial bloom of passion in a relationship, but if it cools, instead of feeling owrry or anger, we can open ourselves to new forms of intimacy that can be equally — or perhaps more — saitisfying. We can elight in our partner as a companion, enjoy a steadier love, a deeper bond.

‘Love is like the ebb and flow of tides on life’s shores.’

The act of acceptance, of acknowledging that change is a natural part of interactions with others, can play a vital role in our relationships. We may discover that it is at the very time when we may feel most disappointed, as if smth has gone out in a relationship, that a profound transformation can occur. These transitional periods can become pivotal points when true love can mature and flower. Our relationship may no longer be based on intense passion, the view of the other as the embodiment of perfection, or the feeling that we are merged with the other. But in exchange for that, we are now in a position to truly begin to know the other — to see the other as he or she is, a separate individual, with faults or weaknesses perhaps, but a human being like ourselves. It is only at this point that we can make a genuine commitment, a commitment to the growth of another human being –an act of true love.



Revelation/ Revolution
September 1, 2007, 3:57 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Yesterday, I was so stressed that I left early to emo elsewhere.

Let’s just say that it has never failed to lift my spirits, it’s as if my heart has wings..sigh..I’m ever ready for you :p

Wemt back home, at around mn, mr heng called and we talked a lot, i had a thorough cry, like it cleansed all my past shadows. Then the next day, it just seemed that everything has 2 sides, as jingyi enlightened me. Still, I have faith that at least a part of that was pure and good. ok I’m talking rubbish, but now i know that ppl do care and i should put in effort to yield tangible results.

Here were some of the reflections scribbled down after the conversation.

My frequency and intensity of ‘Bad Days’ are higher than the rest because theirs is spread over a time period of a year whereas mine is squeezed into a month. And all the shit piles up at one go. They had time on their sides to prove HengNeo, and sometimes themselves, wrong and GroW Up in the process. (to be continued)

(cont’d…) Being mindful of words and actions (body language) shapes one’s habits and ultimately, character. For eg, ‘rough’ and ‘preliminary’ could be more sensitively rephrased as ‘setting the foundation’, thereby showing appreciation. In other words ‘Mere speech, reinforced, can be heart-shaping.’ Superficial politeness is not enough, must be truly respectful and heed elders’ advice from the bottom of the heart.

It is unnecessary to put myself down or explain excessively as it deviates from the problem at hand. Sometimes, MY EGO IS TALKING. Seeking approval from ppl (Neo) who snub me repeatedly is harmful and to be avoided at all costs. Likewise, attracting attention from gentle souls (Heng) who truly care about me and not showing improvement. It is adverse to settle for mediocrity; not being honest to myself, my ability to excel.

The above is a rough paraphrase of what was said, slight slant perhaps but to the point.

Anyway, I feel my blessing became a curse. I’d rather have slightly less intelligence for more diligence. =X

Matthew made my day, Mark didn’t though his comment hit the bullseye ‘You’re taking forEVer~’