Thou greatest enemy is thyself

I recently dug out an old unposted letter to my mum. Wow such angst, when I could have channelled the energy to building a more warm open and loving relationship with her. Better rip it up before she sees it, hope she didn’t rummage in my drawers.

Today I went to the Red Cross Home for the Disabled at Bukit Timah to accompany Kym and Edina, in the end I met Jing Lin and Pay Wen instead, and bumped into Mingfa. It was situated in a quiet lane off Bukit Timah Rd and quite ramshackle; one of the gates was hanging off it’s hinge and the building looked bleached from the elements. In the afternoon heat, a faint musty smell permeated the place. When I walked in and saw the residents, I was stunned. Their limbs were gangly and contorted into weird angles and some of them had their arms or torso bound to prevent them from hurting themselves. Their features were slightly distorted and drool. Then this boy started wailing and we hurried over to help. I felt so helpless, seeing that he was not responding to my squeezing his hand or attempts to make him feel comfortable. Still that snapped me out of my stupor and I went from bed to bed, finally coming to this little girl who at least looked delighted to see me. Made funny faces and she shrieked with laughter. Kids suck their thumbs right, this super flexible girl sucks her big toe. Later, when the desserts were delivered, I propped her body up and fed her. At first there were small dribbles, but with some practice and lots of tissue on stand-by it went smoothly. Then she got too excited by my airplane sounds and entertaining to get her to open her mouth and knocked over the spoonful of green bean and sago onto her shirt. Had to change her t-shirt.

Out of all these, no matter how sad I was that they would not experience life fully, I was at least happy that I could make their day in some little way. They’ll be moving to a newer place in Bukit Merah, will continue visiting…along with my weekly visits with Lion’s Befrienders.