Thou greatest enemy is thyself

1mth anni
June 23, 2008, 12:57 am
Filed under: movie, romantic

while waiting..                                         lookin’ sleepy xD

‘Don’t mess with the Zohan’ is such an inappropriate date movie. Nevertheless, crude (hip-thrusting) humour appreciated >D Accidentally dropped my phone in the cinema, that was when i realised how attached i am to this silver candybar N82, my planner, idea incubator and major zilian-ing device all rolled into one! Oh ya I gave kim that green plush turtle handphone accessory that crackles a static ‘I love you…i LOVE you!’ when you press its shell. Lol…cute right? 


Startin’ anew
June 21, 2008, 9:21 am
Filed under: movie, platonic, romantic

After a long hiatus from my blog, I’ve finally returned to record my travails and torrid affairs. Where shall I start? Ok just a quick one on Friday night’s catching up with Jia Lin, my childhood friend. We caught a free screening of ‘Get Smart’ at Vivo GV and after that walked about at Zara and Pull & Bear. It’s funny how people change and yet stay the same after so long. From the days of marching around in class singing R-rated versions of pop songs and talking about crushes, we’re now critquing clothes and discussing future plans. Her Mr Bean-ish funniness (saying hello to random little girls xD) still shows though. Then I escorted her to the MRT station, where I BUMPED into my bf and his roly-poly buddy.

At Pull & Bear, one of my fav stores.. Should I buy this top?!

Yes I’m now newly attached after 6 months of grieving over my first break-up. Needless to say, we have our own issues, but what do people say? Make up sex, or make up making out in our case, was fireworks after lots of pent-up emo-ness. Yeah…the outdoor area of Vivo holds a special meaning to me now…as well as the cinema….and the last bus of 38. Tml shall be our first month anniversary, and truly, he’s the best damn thing that happened to me in a long while and I shall cherish every moment tgt, love him wholeheartedly, while it lasts of course..everything is impermanent…so be happy while you can =)

(to be continued..)

Did you realise that I didn’t mention about him at all in the previous posts? Haha that’s cuz when I’m truly happy I don’t really touch my blog. Even if there ARE happy posts in my blog, it’s more to convince myself that life doesn’t suck. okay…a short recap, I’ve met Heng Kim Peng aka kimchi aka MASTER WUGUI since december after adding him randomly on friendster, best decision I’ve ever made though I was worried at first that he’ll think I’m an ‘anyhow’ girl. Haha..maybe subconsciously I already liked him a bit =p and being the naturally friendly person that i am, decided to go out more often with him, no harm knowing a friend better right? *winks* but rly…he rawks as a fren n i wouldn’t have minded to continue being his friend if it means i can have him my whole life…  =) Love’s sweeter but turns sour more easily? =x HOPE NOT! *cross my fingers*

April 26, 2008, 2:03 am
Filed under: movie, reflection, review

Friday is friggin awesommmmme! Went to the sell-out concert of The Great Spy Experiment (GSE) at the Esplanade Recital Studio. I remember the music and swaying to it, ended up jumping like mad in my strappy 3-inch heels and know my knees are numb…from pain. but ANYWAY, that wasn’t the point, the band members are just such great performers! Saiful is the lead singer, sleek stylo milo, Song the second guitarist is more flamboyant, what with the hair (OMG u gotta see his hair!!!), Bassist Khairil is the most enthu one and prone to stunts, obviously into bodybuilding as he stripped off his shirt halfway to reveal his bulging biceps. Show off. He’s already dating Magdalene lah, the keyboardist and synthesiser operator. Last but definitely NOT least is the drummer….(insert name)……he’s damn funny, cracking lame jokes and grinning very goofily and looking very hangdog when he goes into the trance-like state.

Fast fwd fast fwd…the autograph session, i got them to sign on the GSE tee i got, WHILE WEARING IT. Hehehehe…I asked Song if he’s Chinese or Malay, cuz he’s the fairest but looks Malay and he’s CHINESE, surname TAN, and i went ‘OH I’M A TAN ALSO’, and K quipped ‘Eh same family!’ and Song went ‘Aww~ shucks’. Arhz..he doesn’t matter. My loves Zai Zul and his poly friend Jerraline (not sure of spelling) accompanied me. J jas a cool tatto on her…left shoulder..yep AND she studies fashion design at TP, i’m so jealous, but nvm, I GOT INTO NTU MASS COMM!

Yeap u heard it…WEE KIM WEE SCHOOL OF COMMUNICATION STUDIES! Ok lah that’s the biggest news of all for Friday. =) My father was so happy. My mum too, since my father was happy. San Jie, Ling and Soph knew the news as I was taking the bus home from Northland Pri.

Thursday first meeting with Ling her NTU friend XiXun and RongXin fellow TJCian. We’re joining Citibank-YMCA Youth for Causes!! What I liked was that the non-profit org (NPO) the 3 of them chose was Buddhist. Metta School, rings a bell? Well no it didn’t at first, then as we were discussing happily into the 3rd hour I buried my face in my hands and gave a strangled cry cuz i realized the first time I heard about it was….and we had to come up with a PROPOSAL to help them…(inside thing, only Ling knew how i felt, lol…argh) I LOVE the direction we’re taking, helping to raise awareness of social enterprises (SE) in Singapore as well as increase support for the intellectually disabled youths aat Happy Arts Deli. It’s gonna take the form of a carnival and we’re targetting at JC students, whom I believe are NOT apathetic. (Even if they are, we’ve got a secret weapon, GP content. Mwahaha.)

Wednesday went to watch Good Night and Good Luck about the McCarthy Era and the power of the media, mindblowing stuff and an uber-cool cinematic classic. B&W, George Clooney, jazz, powerful but concise speeches that struck the hearts of American people. Go figure. Much much later into the night I confided in the BFG again, suddenly occurred to me that things for my ears and my eyes only shouldn’t be displayed at liberty on my blog, never ever would i think that someone would search for it and inform someone I care about and respect and depend on a lot, what a good thing it didn’t affect BFG like previous cases have. Like ‘Lil ol me? Oh man I didn’t expect anyone except my close friends to wanna read my blog u know?’ And anyway they receive regular verbal updates from me, no need to read blog.

I’m now drifting again. I tend to avoid conversations with ppl who are impt to me, past examples include Hwee and De Li Ge. And now the most crucial one but what others think should be the least important? I should just forget>? Attachment brings suffering? Expecially if he doesn’t care enough for me to keep things amicable? If I really really love a person, wish him well and happy. I have too much baggage, and I absolutely don’t want a relationship to be a means to an end, to fill the void in my heart, but rather to share an overbrimming cup of love. I dunno what crap I’m spouting when it just hurts to be misunderstood and I’ve never been one to enhance and highlight my assets but I react so immediately that it just sends the wrong msg. I’m so sad right now that i don’t know what to do. Were you thinking the same thing as me as we were both watching that anal flick? I flinched at your touch only becuase it jolted my senses so much and brought back those memories in a flood. Perhaps it IS better to let go. I fyou’re happy i’m happy, but could u please, just tell me, there’s no way anymore and maybe you could make someone else happier instead of hitting the pause and play on my suffering. The saddest saddest thing is, it’s either ALL but NOTHING. Not even friendship? I wish you could read this but it’s all in a jumble and you’ve got more pressing things to worry about, like school. The end, I don’t stand a chance against the bitches, except for friends who know how sensitive and raw i am and buffer me against the shit that’s going on. *HUGS*


Bawled my eyes out. all our lives we’re yearning for that unconditional love.

I wish one day I will be able to give it.

November 9, 2007, 11:59 pm
Filed under: movie

Was thinkin more last night before I drifted off. Of what Evanne said in the caraven to Tristan in dormouse form, ‘Love is the only reason why stars continue to gaze opon Earth, nowwhere in the universe can they see love as passionate and great. Love is unconditional, unpredictable, unbearable.’ Although this is yet another Western glorification of romantic love, it still resonates with me at this particular period. Another apt observation from Dr. Liu, love is the most exciting mixture of suan tian ku la. The sourness of jealousy that curls the stomach, the sweetness of puppy love and declarations of forever, the bitterness of being banished into the deepest abyss of his oblivion, and the spiciness of spine-tingling love-making. I think, I’d prefer something more bland but dependable please.

I’ve been putting down myself too much. And presume too much during my yoyoing mood. What new impression of mr tickles I have is.. He’s detached, MUCH too detached, unrelentingly pragmatic (I won’t choose u at the expense of my studies, what’s the point of saying that? I wouldn’t want or allow it to happen in the first place!) has a BIG EGO (he’ll just let me go I know, so it shall be) and a big head (unwavering confidence in his attractiveness and eligibility bordering on arrogance that makes me want to smack his face!) And he’s unapologetic, ‘I am, unfortunately I don’t have redeeming qualities.’ I went with my gut instinct, I definitely saw the uncut gem in him, and I loved him for that realness, willingness to admit his flaws and genuine efforts to help me and miscellaneous dysfunctional ppl =.=” He’s a filial guy as well, and meets the problem head on, he got 3rd in class for promos, no doubt he’ll do well next year =) Is it that he doesn’t want mediocre ppl to drag him down? If not why does he always say ‘If you were fat/ugly/stupid/slow (take your pick, any insecurity, you anme it, i have it), what would that reflect about me?’ I see that he doesn’t accept me completely for who I am, and that he can’t satisfy my cat-like need for warmth and comfort. He abandoned me at my darkest hour, and left me a stray, but I shall survive the lonely nights and prowl the avenues of my life to get stronger. No way will I depend on anyone for my own happiness again, ever. It’s his loss.

April 3, 2007, 1:45 pm
Filed under: movie, review

My heart’s still beating very fast, 50 minutes after leaving TM GV. 300 is awesome. ALL THOSE ABS! *drool* Lol jk.. Basically, tis a dramatization of Frank Miller’s graphic novel 300. King Leonidas led an army of 300 to defend Sparta against the overwhelming Persians who’re under Xerxes, self-proclaimed god, meglomanic gay. Yeah, ‘Freedom is Important’ and Zack Snyder makes sure this message is driven into our brains using brilliant visuals.

I’m no movie purist; the plot may be excellent, characters compelling, but it’s the aesthetic appeal that draws me most. Using bluescreen technology and polished CG effects, the audience is plunged into a dreamscape where EVERYTHING is beautiful, even the splattering blood and chopped off heads. Yes, violence is glorified, but justifiably so. You’ll see it in their eyes; to protect their loved ones and homeland, the only beacon of hope for democracy! *wipes a tear*

Haha ok..that was gay, but I was on an emotional rollercoaster; one moment adrenaline-pumping battle scenes, the next heartbreakingly tender ‘last-time-sex’. Not much diff from my current state actually, gungho but utterly vulnerable. 300 was TRULY inspirational, taught us to be strong and brave in the face of potential downfall, have faith in the small group of staunch friends who stick around, and last but not least to stand true to oneself. The odds might be against you, but learn to laugh and not take life too seriously, and things will turn out fine, yeah =)

Which reminds me of some of the memorable moments in the movie. A hail of arrows that blot out the sun shower on the Spartans, and while they’re crouched under their shields, one guy starts giggling and sets them off with some joke about ‘fighting in the shade’. Like very funny meh?? LOL~ Then there were the sad sad parts, sigh..oh man just go see for yourself ya? I guarantee you’ll be blown away.

Credits to Rachel who lent me her IC cuz I’m not yet 18, and also Li Ling who agreed to accompany me despite only asking her last night. Thanks for lending me $4.50 to buy the April issue of FiRST. Shucks I must learn delayed gratification. Paiseh if I couldn’t hear what you were whispering, was 99.99% absorbed in the movie.

Oh wait wait!! There was one scene which I disliked and it was when King Leo died a martyr, arms wide open and struck to the ground by cruel arrows. Uncanny resemblance to Jesus Christ’s crucifixtion. Bleah. Oh and the person I admired most was the Queen, who pulled the blade on the traitor. Such a woman!! “Only Spartan women give birth to Spartan men.” Visible wrinkles, slightly saggy breasts but still magnificent and eloquent.My IDOL *claps claps*

The People VS Larry Flynt
March 19, 2007, 12:12 am
Filed under: movie, review

Smut peddler. I SAY HE’S A GENIUS! Hustler porn mag dared to break convention with a no-holds barred approach. Larry was a frequent visitor to the county courts, district courts and eventually the Supreme Court. Freedom of expression yeah~ it IS simply a matter of taste, not community standards. Just like guai-looking ppl don’t go around blaring that they’re in fact wild cats =p

Poor poor Althea (pretty name), Courtney Love was perfectly cast as her. Orphan degraded by nuns, dancer in Larry’s bar, later wife and muse, AIDS victim and lastly drug junkie who died a tragic and early death. It’s amazing how the couple separates LOVE and LUST. Ain’t it funny how one can be sexually attracted to a virtual stranger but absolutely adore another with with no stirring in the loins whatsoever??

Oh I’ve got a crush on that cute lawyer and his smooth talk.

Larry: You specialise in porn?
Lawyer: No. I don’t particularly like what you do but your case interests me.
Larry: I like you…come back when you’re out of law school.
Lawyer: Erm I’m 27, graduated from Harvard Law Sch with Honours, 5 years in service. I specialise in civil liberties.

Something like that, I got the order mixed up. It gives me a thrill when he argues so thoroughly and to the point, then WINS. He’s the reason why Larry’s still up and going. Not literally, seeing that he was shot by a Christian extremist and paralysed waist down. Hmm..bad karma and instant retribution. But it’s all thanks to him that America is the way it is today =)

Oh Oh newsflash! I saw shi fu and hs! WAHAHA! Wad a good thing I didn’t say hi there and then or they’d have fainted, cuz we’ve never met in real life.

Stomp The Yard
March 17, 2007, 1:41 am
Filed under: movie, review

Marc, Lionel and I caught it at Lido, that’s AFTER we tried (& failed =.=”) to buy tickets for 300. It was an all black cast; marc couldn’t differentiate one from the other. Haha..i could though, at least for the main eye candy. OHH their abs!! Not only the 6-pack, but also 8-pack, zig-zag pattern, etc. *drools*

Of course the dance was superb, JAW-DROPPING~ It revolves arnd 2 frats in Truth Uni vying for the top spot in the national stepping competition (I love the synchronity and shouted insults). Of course, Ne-Yo ends the 7-year losing streak of the Theta Pythons, by adding some popping/locking/hip-hop to the old-school moves. At the climax, he breaks the tie with a 招牌高难度动作 in memory of his brother who’s shot dead. Wheee~ AND he gets the girl, Meagan Good (rmb the black girl who’s a great singer in Step Up?). She’s sooo HOT, great legs *sigh*

ANW, went for wushu, n I’m depressed =x