Thou greatest enemy is thyself

July 27, 2008, 1:05 am
Filed under: dance / wushu, platonic, rant, reflection, romantic

Today…saturday…always the day when i come to Foochow Assoc for dance and wushu. My senses are deadened. My joy is muted. My brain is turmoiled. Or it could just be me…pms-ing… instead of being pro-active in making life a lil better. Haha.

Wushu competition is drawing near, and because of the constant pushing myself to the max those past months of practice, and that freak accident involving me flying into Kenny’s armpit while doing xuan zi, the whole right side of my body is now in a sorry condition. Lol…from top to bottom: head, neck, back, shoulder joint, wrist, waist, knee and ankle, with the exception of my toe. My LEFT little toenail got ripped off, now it’s re-attached by a congealed mass of blood. Put on a plaster to hide the gruesome sight.

Thankfully, it’s nothing a superb bowl of fish soup downstairs and nice company can’t solve! HAHAHA! Ok…Ruo Dan, Li Ling, Kai Ling, Samartha, Angelina and I had lunch, and Sam was sharing her aggravating account of some irritating NIE freshies who is whining and sniping at the organisers’ efforts. Totally immature, he’ll never make it in a real school if he doesn’t learn how to get along with current classmates (aka future colleagues) and suck up to their seniors (aka potential HOD or Principal). What happened to the old adage of ‘putting yourself in another’s shoes’? Do you think you could handle welfare, logistics, games, admin and miscellaneous as competently as your seniors? Show a little respect!!! And it’s no longer enough for a teacher to teach, you are expected to organise events and create a positive public image. A little fact gleaned by CCHMS former discipline master Mr Soon: Schools are now run like corporations, competition is cut-throat. You can’t attract students? Expect to get less funding and die off eventually. *sombre silence* (Mr Soon always has that effect, damn pro he was.)

Oh yes, Angelina commented on my face, it’s getting worse cuz of the late nights, stress over uni preparations and PMS. Maybe I’ll go for facial tomorrow after giving tuition. Plan plan: Morning jog 8-9, tuition 10-4.30, facial set appointment at 6.30? Enough time to go home, shower, eat dinner, go online. I used to have such low self-esteem over my face, but now I won’t worry so much. If I take care of what’s inside, the outside will improve naturally =) I’m optimistic.

After that I headed to Bugis, Waterloo Street specifically, for tie da, Brendan’s Uncle specifically. He works miracles seriously. Last year I also looked for him for my knees and sprained wrist. Ok back to my back. He started by slathering on oil and gliding a suction cup along my back, enough to make me squeal as the muscles were so tensed up. The he planted a few more of those ‘suckers’ at strategic points and adjusted them accordingly. I couldn’t really remember the order after that but he did those twists and cracks and kneading and heating. Damn shiok after the whole thing but now it’s a little sore cuz the healing process is takin place. Best of all, he only charged me $28.40!!! Medicated plaster FOC!! THANKS YONG TING, i mean BRENDAN lol… People look for DR TAY KOK MENG…he RAWKS!

Side note: I don’t get why people aren’t proud of their Chinese names. It’s so rich with meaning encapsulated in that 2 or 3 characters. Well that’s not saying English names are bad, it could be part of your upbringing (religion, family tradition, etc) or your metamorphosis into an adult (discovering your true self, creating a new identity, emulating an idol, etc.)

Ohwell…went home and slacked with my mum and sis, it’s a nice warm fuzzy feeling slacking with them. Heh. My goal is to treat them better, after all they deserve the best in me. Haha gotta learn from Kim in this area, The Filial Son/Tough-love Brother/Caring Boyfriend. I don’t know if I’m over-sensitive or what but it’s been EXACTLY a month since he last kissed me, as in kiss until I can swoon of happiness, the last time he ‘kissed’ (note inverted commas) me was a dry peck on the lips, just a brush, landed infinitely slowly and softly, and ONLY because I said I wanted to kiss him (Okay this is so pathetic I didn’t wanna put it down at first).  RARR! *sulks*  Yes I know lots of things are happening to him, really heartbreaking too and my heart breaks with him, but I want to share it with him because he is important to me! Why withdraw and just say ‘no mood’? =X Argh.. Yes I know I mentioned that I didn’t want the physical to define our relationship, but that doesn’t mean that the emotional and mental part should be neglected. And when even the physical is lost, then I might as well be a friend with the label of ‘Girlfriend’.. And if he always hangs out with his homies I’d rather be a homie really then I can really share his troubles, laugh at his idiotic antics and even enjoy a comfortable silence without expecting more… Ack…I’m getting all worked up again though I just replied his sms lightheartedly. Perhaps I should take a leaf out of Li Ling and Sophie. 1. Be cheerful and act cute (sophie) 2. DEH more and subtly hint that I want his affection (Li Ling) but both are so not my forte so 3. i’ll just give him space and time until he eventually misses me (Jia Yi).

One comment that struck me ‘Only a stupid guy would be sad over a girl’. If that’s your philosophy then…..i shall go and sleep and forget about it. No use mulling over it.


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