Thou greatest enemy is thyself

sweetly sick
April 5, 2008, 12:35 am
Filed under: test

Boarded the train home, leaning against the cool glass partition after a hectic day of shopping, a hop to SOT and dinner with ling after our SMU application. Coincidentally, the carriage lights near the doors had blown out and I relaxed in the semi-darkness; safe in my secret spot, as if no-one could see me veiled in shadow. I stared vacantly at the stars winking at me conspiratiorally.

‘Whaaat~ I didn’t do anything…’

‘OH yes yes yes, we’ve got our revenge. Being happy beautiful and basically glowing from the inside is your best bet for getting over HIM.’

‘Er…ok, still, i think i’ve dimmed quite a lot.’

‘Well it’s a start, with  XING to teach you how to love others, LING to help you love yourself and SOPH’s exemplary cool-headedness in facing loved ones.’

‘Hmm…and I shall shine even brighter for my friends when they need me, a guiding light on an overcast day or in the pitch-black night.’

And then this pudgy bespectacled chinese man walked in with a plump fair mail-order bride, whispering sweet nothings and squeezing each other’s fats (on their arms, shoulders and waist, thank goodness no groping). This wave of naseua hit me twice, first the woman laughed so fluffily, and the next moment the guy kissed her marshmallow lips. It’s not (just) disgust that triggered it but, you guessed it, my brief almost non-existent puppy love period with Mr Tickles. Pathetique..

He’s just not into me, and I finally finally accepted it the night I couldn’t stop crying long enough to doze off which prompted me to hug my mum in the next room and getting her all cranky and saying ‘You should have kicked him out of your mind a LONG time ago! Me and Papa love you. Rly heartpain to see a boy who doesn’t love my daughter as much as we want him to. Ok now go to sleep, you won’t think of him again. Tml will be a better day. Zzz..’

It really put things into perspective. Like why should I care so much about an egoistic bull who has obviously charged off (moved on) and picked up some random horny cow? Good for him, better for me. But seriously, I will never be able to rid all my inexplicable affection for him. That’s the inconvenient part to being a girl i guess, and a frequently emo one at that. I’m happy for him, really, cuz they share so many more similarities like being self-confident to the point of arrogance (him) and narcissism (her), playing all cool and detached, being smart without substance, etc.

 Gosh that’s really nasty *grins* 

 Nah…just makin it easier for him to hate me and love another. *grim*

girl…just stop it will ya…forgive and forget. And you have so many great guy friends to compensate for one failed relationship. Never make the mistake of loving for no good reason, then everything pure and simple gets complicated.


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