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Had a date with Minmin at Orchard McCafe just now..it really is a haven to talk, a (relatively) quiet spot amidst the pre-Christmas frenzy. After hearing out her problems, I realised that both of us are lost and stagnant, but due to radically different reasons.
Reflecting on my recent escapism, I really shouldn’t have a problem at all. I’ve got such supportive family, friends and mentors, who are always there to hear the silghtest rant and ramble. I’ve got talent, maybe the only bad thing is there’s one too MANY, until I need to have a piece of everything and end up with nothing.
I need purpose and direction now. In the form of spiritual cultivation? Hwee and the Saiputta girls have waited 2 years. Now, just when they think I’m ready, things turn again. I’m really confused and unconfident now, and I think it affects the way I carry myself, so people treat me accordingly…
Also, I’m trying to find a job right now and stop living off my parents. Feeling like a complete bum, a FAT one. Problem is, I’ve signed up for the 8-day retreat at Alokarama in Melaka. *SIGH* Plus I can’t find my O level cert!!! WTF!
Well every cloud has a silver lining, at least my family is an anchor. My father woke me up from a nightmare this morning and assured me I’m not a failure, and that he’ll gladly let me retake A levels if only I rein in my recalcitrant ways immediately. Then we had family lunch at The Peranakan Place and tomorrow we’re watching 881! For $5/ ticket only at Tampines GV! Whee~ Can’t wait…more musical movies for meee!
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Thou greatest enemy is thyself 