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Yesterday, I was so stressed that I left early to emo elsewhere.
Let’s just say that it has never failed to lift my spirits, it’s as if my heart has wings..sigh..I’m ever ready for you :p
Wemt back home, at around mn, mr heng called and we talked a lot, i had a thorough cry, like it cleansed all my past shadows. Then the next day, it just seemed that everything has 2 sides, as jingyi enlightened me. Still, I have faith that at least a part of that was pure and good. ok I’m talking rubbish, but now i know that ppl do care and i should put in effort to yield tangible results.
Here were some of the reflections scribbled down after the conversation.
My frequency and intensity of ‘Bad Days’ are higher than the rest because theirs is spread over a time period of a year whereas mine is squeezed into a month. And all the shit piles up at one go. They had time on their sides to prove HengNeo, and sometimes themselves, wrong and GroW Up in the process. (to be continued)
(cont’d…) Being mindful of words and actions (body language) shapes one’s habits and ultimately, character. For eg, ‘rough’ and ‘preliminary’ could be more sensitively rephrased as ‘setting the foundation’, thereby showing appreciation. In other words ‘Mere speech, reinforced, can be heart-shaping.’ Superficial politeness is not enough, must be truly respectful and heed elders’ advice from the bottom of the heart.
It is unnecessary to put myself down or explain excessively as it deviates from the problem at hand. Sometimes, MY EGO IS TALKING. Seeking approval from ppl (Neo) who snub me repeatedly is harmful and to be avoided at all costs. Likewise, attracting attention from gentle souls (Heng) who truly care about me and not showing improvement. It is adverse to settle for mediocrity; not being honest to myself, my ability to excel.
The above is a rough paraphrase of what was said, slight slant perhaps but to the point.
Anyway, I feel my blessing became a curse. I’d rather have slightly less intelligence for more diligence. =X
Matthew made my day, Mark didn’t though his comment hit the bullseye ‘You’re taking forEVer~’
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erm.. you’r nt alone! jiayi, jiayou ok? haha
Comment by shunqiang September 5, 2007 @ 2:35 pmhahaha.. yup thanx.. can’t wait for sot!
Comment by lil.miss.bipolar September 6, 2007 @ 12:49 pm