Thou greatest enemy is thyself


People to Invite to my 21st
April 26, 2010, 1:50 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Asiaworks

LP87
Ruyan
Samrit
Pervin
Claire
Mel
Wendy
Jennifer
Huili
Kai Jia
Ryan
Seb
Jinglin
Melissa Ngo
Chewy
Surend
People at Office
 

SFA + Dance
Lao Shi
Yun-jie
Xiao Yun
Wilson
Li Ling
Sophie
Liu Xing
Herman
Angel
Desiree
Qifeng
Xuan Yun
The Guys
Fen
Adam
Charmaine 

NTU
Karyn
Sian Choo
Yuntian
Yinghan
Jiang Shuang
Fang Xuan
Yamuna
Chua Xin Yi
Jie Ying
Wei Lie 
Faliq
Nisha
Desmond
Alvin
Shi Xiong
Jeanette
Jin Hua
Kenneth
Cameron
Dindson
Shu Hui

ART
Mrs Neo and family
Mr Heng
Jingyi
Ivan
Jiahui
Alyssa
Tingxi
Yee May
Shu Juan and rest of batch
Boon Han
Bing Rong
Donghao
Witono 

SOT
Xiao Bai
Wanteng
Hui Yan
Shunqiang
Sihui
Prsicilla
Minmin
Mr Tong and family
Louis 
Yu Ting 

Airport Guides
Zai
Ryan
Zul
Dominic

TJC + Wushu
Limin
Sze Ying
Karen
Kylie
Ivy
Heng Pei
Verena
Huan Yuet
Chen Shao
Wai Yeow
Songyan

O Level Music
Ruth
Sin Yee
Chong Xin Yi
Mr Tan
Amanda
Wingki
Yao Zong
Tiffany
Linlin
Weilin 

DE
Sangit
Peter
Musa
Clement
Evelyn
Eunice
Corinne
Jiexiao
Thierry
Zhou Hing 

Family and Friends
Steve
Christine
Keith
Liwen
Da jie
Er jie
San jie
Zixin

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You know what this means…
March 5, 2010, 3:38 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can ‘do it’ and what is more, you will – without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don’t find that ‘special someone’ and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society.

You honestly believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, but there seems to be no one around to give you the necessary reassurance and encouragement. You are egocentric. You believe that you are always ‘right’ – well maybe you are but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking – you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of ‘total surrender’. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence ‘you need to be needed’ and at the same time ‘you need to need’.

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards – and come what may – you abide by them.



Clean-up before CNY
January 29, 2010, 5:19 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I recently dug out an old unposted letter to my mum. Wow such angst, when I could have channelled the energy to building a more warm open and loving relationship with her. Better rip it up before she sees it, hope she didn’t rummage in my drawers.



Red Alert
January 18, 2010, 2:19 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Today I went to the Red Cross Home for the Disabled at Bukit Timah to accompany Kym and Edina, in the end I met Jing Lin and Pay Wen instead, and bumped into Mingfa. It was situated in a quiet lane off Bukit Timah Rd and quite ramshackle; one of the gates was hanging off it’s hinge and the building looked bleached from the elements. In the afternoon heat, a faint musty smell permeated the place. When I walked in and saw the residents, I was stunned. Their limbs were gangly and contorted into weird angles and some of them had their arms or torso bound to prevent them from hurting themselves. Their features were slightly distorted and drool. Then this boy started wailing and we hurried over to help. I felt so helpless, seeing that he was not responding to my squeezing his hand or attempts to make him feel comfortable. Still that snapped me out of my stupor and I went from bed to bed, finally coming to this little girl who at least looked delighted to see me. Made funny faces and she shrieked with laughter. Kids suck their thumbs right, this super flexible girl sucks her big toe. Later, when the desserts were delivered, I propped her body up and fed her. At first there were small dribbles, but with some practice and lots of tissue on stand-by it went smoothly. Then she got too excited by my airplane sounds and entertaining to get her to open her mouth and knocked over the spoonful of green bean and sago onto her shirt. Had to change her t-shirt.

Out of all these, no matter how sad I was that they would not experience life fully, I was at least happy that I could make their day in some little way. They’ll be moving to a newer place in Bukit Merah, will continue visiting…along with my weekly visits with Lion’s Befrienders.



intense week
December 22, 2009, 4:26 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

bittersweet 16th. ropes course. steamboat sebastian.



DE Dance Camp 09
December 14, 2009, 12:20 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

This is the first time I’ve felt a sense of belonging to DE and that I’ve actually created something with the people there. I’ve also realized how awesome it is to enjoy and improve at the same time. Yesterday I felt quite down but today it was a high again! It as a build-up actually. First, Marcus (who has endless legs and gorgeous fluidity!) said that class was for us to go all out and try. The teacher is mostly rooting for us to get it. Cast away the fear…self-consciousness…and just learn as much as we can! FEEL THE DANCE!!!  And I immediately thought of how I didn’t catch Zaini”s choreo the day before. I was set to such a beautiful Chinese oldie and the movements were  just so apt and emotive, I felt sad that I couldn’t dance to its full glory. The tipping point came when Zaini gave us a lesson on make-up and demonstrated a really wayang look on me. I felt more confident somehow, and wanted to channel all the emo elegant lady I could! It also helped a lot that he went through every step and I really paid attention and polished it. Lynette’s feedback also helped a lot, I realised I need to be sharper in my movements and follow the counts, only then can I add dynamics and feeling.

I also felt really happy when I helped some of the juniors in the dance and guided them slowly. It feels great when I see them finally get it and dance so much nicer! It’s amazing how talented some of them are, like Shanez, no dance background but could pick up so fast. Melissa was really sweet too, she gripped my arm and went ‘You are so nice and patient, thank you!’ That made my day =) And also chatting intermittently with Shuli about our Chung Cheng days and Jeanette being so nice to lend me her laptop (hence my ability to blog now!) Musa lending me his cashcard to get 100plus from the vending machine, Sangit delivering food supplies to my room and lending me his small pillow to hug. Amanda and another senior for their interesting lunchtime conversation.VK lending me her make-up and calling me an ‘angel’ cuz my moves were too soft (lol). Mindy sms-ing even when she’s having her O school recital. It’s recognising such random happy moments that make the camp worthwhile.

I’m aching all over now, but say bye to my fats and hello to toned muscular legs and hourglass figure WOOTS! I need a good massage after camp ends. Maybe on the 16th..



Protected: Closing the Chapter.
November 27, 2009, 12:06 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

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